Belakangan, gue gampang melamun, pagi pagi bangun, thaks to my broken laptop yg membuat gue gabut. Lesson : jangan menghabiskan banyak waktu didepan leptop karena kalo rusak lo langsung mati gaya. Kecuali kalo ngerjain tugas. Jadi kembali ke permasalahan melamun.. Masuk dunia sendiri, bertanya-tanya sendiri, kenapa ini begitu, kenapa ini begini, kenapa gue disini, ngapain gue disini? Eversince my laptop died, i spent quiet alot of time thinking to myself, yang akhirnya biasanya bodoh.. Kadang, habis buka mata, mikir soal kejadian yg udah lewat yang seharusnya ga terjadi, kalimat yg salah yg seharusnya ga keluar dr mulut, ngebayangin gimana keadaan sekarang bisa berubah 180derajat kalau gue ngelakuin seuprit hal yg beda. To be honest, semenjak gue pindah kesini, i dont spent much time talking to people, becoming a kind of a loner.. I did talk, but only to one person for every single day, and that's enough to make me feel happy even i hv no idea what to talk about, i just want to keep going and keep talking. And sometimes when i let myself drowned in my thoughts i feel a bit sad, overthinking made you sad, so dont ever do that, because i feel it, when i think too much, how things should have happened, i got sad. And when you get sad, you'll have swollen eyes for like days -.- am not trying to blend in, cause when you blend in, you make friends, i had enough, enough people who said they were my friends but acctually didnt know what that word means. As you grew up, friends becomes less, because you can decide who's sincere and who's not. Right now, i dont need many people asking why, what had happened and stuffs, for the one i always talk to and text to, thanks, i calmed down bit by bit whenever i talk to you.. Even though the talk is meaningless, it's meaningfull to me, thanks for your company, thanks for hearing every single crap coming out from me.. I just wished i can meet you real soon.. I miss laughing and lately i dont do it here pretty often.. The good side is that there's always a smile coming out from me whenever i hear from you..

Hasyalalalalahiw

Jadi begini ceritanya, gue lagi dalam titik gajelas-banget-sih-lo-mil. Kemaren ini minggu lalu gue kedatengan tamu yang gapernah diundang tapi dateng melulu tiap bulan, diawali dengan sakit perut paling hina, gue udh mulai uring-uringan gajelas kerjaannya tiduran seharian, badan berasa ancur, invalid banget dan tidak produktif, tambah lagi gue kayanya kesepian hahahahaha, i live with alot of people here but yet i still feel lonely. Gue gabisa tidur dr kmrn kerjaannya kebangun bangun dan si mawar brisik bet.. Siapa itu mawar, nanti aja ceritain soal mawar.. Emosinya lagi ga keatur melulu bawaannya dikit-dikit ngadu sama orang, maaf ya dalam titik ini gue annoying banget mungkin. Tapi cuma lagi butuh orang banget aja.. Watsapan sm orang nangis, di telfon nangis, apaan banget jadi cewe sosoan rapuh hahahahaa.. Ya tapi sedang berusaha melihat kembali gue ini kenapa, bangun tidur perasaan ga enak, mana deg degan takut gajelas kaya di film horror yg cewenya bangun sambil eungap2 keringetan gajelas gitu.. Tapi ngga sampe gitu juga sih.. -______- eh yaudah gue gatau mau ngmg sm siapa, gue curhat aja disini bodo amat deh orang baca, drpd gue kesel-kesel sendiri.. Apa2 pengen cerita sama orang apa2 pengen ngomong. Plis mawar sedang berkoar koar dan pala gue pusing banget..